Being a Woman in her 20s

This is a 2 part post, where 2 writers come together to pen down their disparate thoughts on what it is like being a twenty something woman. One is just entering her 20s, with hope gleaming in her eyes and the other has braved all the travails, while standing tall.

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As someone who has just entered her 20s, it takes a great deal of courage to admit that I don’t have life figured out. I just graduated and hopped onto different jobs, which come with its own kind of expectations. In this whirlwind, nor do I or any other girl my age, has a chance to  just breathe in and take in the fact that adulthood has just begun for us. Schools never prepared us for managing our finances, working in a professional environment or coming to terms with the fact that our parents are ageing.

The era in my 20s is ending sooner than I can scream out 30! Several thoughts cross my mind as I dwell upon the years that have forgone.They say that living in your 20s is the best episode of life’s roller coaster! Well, from my point of view that’s not entirely true. Beginning with the highs and thrills of college life and ending with various insecurities in fields of career, finances, relationships and the like. I have enumerated the crucial aspects that have influenced me majorly throughout this passing decade along with guiding pointers for you which might enlighten your path through this chapter of life.

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CAREER

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As a young woman, I enter my 20s with a host of expectations. The boom of social media and fluffed up Hollywood movies has led me to falsely believe that life after college is all hunky dory. The girl graduates, lands a job in an office with the view of the New York skyline, meets a guy, falls in love and its all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. Alas, reality hits you  with a loud thud in the face!

You get thrust in the real world only to realize what a cut-throat competition it is out there, and everyone looks out only for themselves and you’re left fending for yourself in the midst of all the chaos. You have to look the best. You have to work assiduously to  climb the elite ladder of seniority only to be thrown off the rung by someone better. You have to be the best. But at what cost?

As a woman I have to constantly prove myself in an industry that is male dominated.  I did it anyway carelessly and penniless because of the true love, passion and dedication I always have towards the field of electrical engineering. Life as a career oriented woman did get tougher in the middle of this decade. The confusing career options while comparing your career choices to that of your family or friends and switching back & forth between varied job profiles gave me a true experience of living in the professional world. And before I knew it, I was catapulted back to square one to start all over again!

The beginning is indeed tedious and heartily discouraging but once you have made that mark – nobody; I repeat nobody can impede you from achievement. And the race to get better, achieve heights and make a permanent impact in the industry will continue.

My advice to you is to be strong, passionate and self motivated continuing to persevere at being excellent in the career that you have always dreamt about. You will surely accomplish your career goals someday! Nevertheless take courage to dream, do what you love and whatever brings joy to those yearning eyes; success will automatically follow.

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FRIENDS AND RELATIONSHIPS

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Over the years growing up, we cross paths with an umpteen number of people, who in subtle ways or not, impact our lives. Some bring joy and some leave you heart broken. We get close to a certain of these people whom we call friends. The time spent with friends is supposed to be the most treasured moments of a person’s life. I don’t need to highlight the everlasting memories one can have with their friends, but eventually as you grow older, you realize everybody has a path set out for them. Everybody has to go their separate ways. Yes this is a hurtful realization, but it has the ability to teach you to let go. It teaches you to imbibe the various experiences  you have with your friends, in your life. It teaches you not to hold onto things, but to move on, as you have countless more people left to enter and influence your life and change it.

I started my 20s with a whole lot of friends and the end of this decade left me with a very few ones. I have had best friends and lovers who subsisted like soul sisters & soul mates for a while and at the next passing moment dispersed away. There was a continual petrifying process of heartbreak and healing during this tenure which coaxed me time and again to not trust and give into easy relationships. But shameless as always, I tread along even though philosopher C.S. Lewis’ words ring in my head –

“To love is to be vulnerable”.

My advice to you is to love, trust and make friends & be lovers anyway. Because journeying alone through this unpredictable and whimsical life is tough my young friend and no woman can live as an island (pun intended). And because love unlike energy shouldn’t be stored, it should be spread out and away into the universe.

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Part 2 of the post is coming up soon. All Thanks to Pradnya for this idea and successful execution.  Go follow her blog at Ponderous Twenty Something.

An Ode to Lost Friendships

Years might stretch, but the memories are fresh..

Of days endured together,

Full of laughter and tear..

With bear hugs and soft kisses,

Of long drives and discovering new places..

Flavours of humour and silly fights,

Being gourmets and having spiritual insights!

Offering support with encouragement,

Without any judgement..

Cherished are the times spend,

And will be reminisced every year!

P for Patience

Over the years, I have grown into an impatient, short tempered woman. Once upon a time my friends called me the “peacemaker” because I was quiet, shy girl who only spoke up when spoken to and used to always make peace between classmates who had small tiffs. Now, I am this wolf clothed as a sheep who prances and pounces on any person who disagrees on my opinions or who just disobeys laws. Be it road rules, officials not performing duties or friends who don’t agree on politics. Sometimes, I have no control over my anger and then I tend to regret after taking it all out. I need to exercise retrospection and be more patient. Or it is just coz I’m growing older? *sigh*? I need to practice patience! period

O for Owl

Large headed, having a binocular vision with binaural hearing – this nocturnal bird lives a plain solitary and is called the wisest. All my childhood, I have come across stories wherein the owl is depicted as a wise old grandma giving solutions to the toughest of problems. ‘An owl’ they call me because I am a night person who is wide awake and active at night and snoozes through early mornings. Although I wish I had the wisdom of an owl as scary as they seem.

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N is for Natural

It’s been more than 2 years that I am inclined towards using products be it cosmetics or medicine or condiments from natural resources or simply nature. And even though slightly expensive it has truly benefited my skin and health. Early man used natural products directly from plant or animal sources for various necessities or therapeutics and hence lived longer than the people of the present era. Today everything is made of harmful chemicals which might be cheaper and effective as used but does give rise to slow internal damage.

M is for Mushrooms

Umbrella shaped fungi, grown in the wild, fleshy and earthy; this describes my favourite food – the mushroom! My liking towards mushrooms grew very late in adulthood I must say. I probably realized I love this fungus a lot unlike the molds on various stuff in my kitchen.

I do salivate at the mere thought of mushrooms, let alone eating them. Grown in the wild, and colourful in the sketchbooks or children story books these seemed just like flowers or cones. Upon cooking them, there emerges this tasty, meaty food which is high in protein and has various health benefits.

L for Ladakh

The Land of High Passes as it is fondly known as is the place that I often dream of visiting. It’s at the top of bucket list and I can’t wait to visit there.

The scenic mountains – snowclad or otherwise touching the sky so high, the fresh air, the simple warm people and the picturesque Pangong Tso known as Pangong lake with its chilly blue green waters. Living here has always been a dream. Although, I fear the cold weather and the high altitudes, I truly wish to take the risk and visit here someday.

K for Kidney stone

2016 was the year of stress, tension and self-dehydration which ultimately gave birth to a kidney stone! My first stone, calculi they call it in medical terms, 5mm in size was formed in the upper pole of my right kidney. I was afraid and yet amused how a human body could produce a gem of minerals. What a thought.. stupid of me, I know! My homeopath guided me and through her medicines the stone vanished within 2 months. I was happy that it just vanished instead of it passing out with the pain and discomfort. From then on, I have made H₂O my buddy and I sip some every moment.

J for Josh Duhamel

Tall, lean, dimply and expressive – yeah that my kinda guy! I fell for Josh Duhamel the first time I watched “Life as we know it” and then I went on to watch all his other hits. From playing a romantic in the movies ‘When in Rome’ & ‘Romantics’ to being an action hero in the Transformers series I love him in all these. It’s a feast to the eyes, just watching him on my laptop screen. A good actor and a handsome man Josh Duhamel is one of my all time favourite.

I is for Interviews

The number of interviews that I attended the past year, 19 to be precise was a whole lot and has got me seasoned to the interviewing process. That year was a real struggling phase of my career. Interview after interview, not restricting to a particular job field from customer service executive to business development and so forth it’s been quite a ride!

I remember my first interview in college placements – it started with a simple handshake and ended beautifully with the interviewer asking me the meaning of my name. And that was it – I had aced the job. The job that I refused to accept at a later stage, simply because I wasn’t interested in working in a software company.

Yes, so coming back to interviews, they do make me nervous at first, but once I am in my seat and comfy I glare out at the interviewer and try to barge into his head to figure out what’s his opinion about me – whether or not I will get the job. 90% of the times I intuit that perhaps he or she liked me. They say it takes just 7 seconds for a stranger or an interviewer in this matter to judge a person – Just 7 seconds! Hence, making a first good impression within those 7 seconds is critical and important. I always keep this in mind and then enter the interview room…